I Wanna Be Promoted

Music: The Ramones (I Wanna Be Sedated)

Lyrics: Dexter Kozen


intro E verse :E A E: x2 :B E: x3 A B chorus :E A B E: x2 E key change--up 1 step at various random times
Twenty, twenty, twenty-four hours a day I wanna be promoted You gave me a job, now don't take it away I wanna be promoted I wrote 100 papers, they're spilling out the drawer I built a walking robot, it's walking out the door I've served on 12 committees, but still you ask for more Please please please please please Bam bam bam bam bam bam bam bam I wanna be promoted Bam bam bam bam bam bam bam bam I wanna be promoted Twenty, twenty, twenty-four hours a day I wanna be promoted I wanna leave Fairview Heights someday I wanna be promoted I write my students' theses without acknowledgment I bring in major funding, but I can't pay the rent My lab is nonexistent, my office is a tent Why why why why why Bam bam bam, etc. Twenty, twenty, twenty-four hours a day I wanna be promoted I can't see what's standing in the way I wanna be promoted I'm editor of TOPLAS, I'm program chair of STOC, Last week I gave a series of 12 distinguished talks I've written seven volumes on synchronizing clocks Tick tick tick tick tick Bam bam bam, etc. Twenty, twenty, twenty-four hours a day I wanna be promoted Gimme a break, and please let me stay I wanna be promoted I go to lunch each weekday with all the senior folks I eat that dreadful garbage and try hard not to choke And afterwards at coffee, I laugh at Juris' jokes Yawn yawn yawn yawn yawn Bam bam bam, etc. Twenty, twenty, twenty-four hours a day I wanna be promoted My soul is in torment, that's all I can say I wanna be promoted My future's in the balance, and tenure is the key If I don't get promoted, what will become of me? I'll have to wait on tables, or work at Odyssey No no no no no Bam bam bam, etc.