Max Isaac L's online diary (April 1996-December 1996)

This diary is pulled together from updates that my dad sent to his friends about my progress. Don't just read --- send him a note!

The entries here are arranged from most recent to least recent. That way you can find out the latest news easily!

What's new with me?! (12/17/96)

Wednesday, December 11th

Max is 2 1/2 now and he's doing wonderfully. Presently, he is convinced that he is Simba, the main character from the Lion King. He insists that we call him Simba and he has assigned everyone with names of characters from the movie. It's been great fun.

From very early on, he has loved being read to. His taste is maturing somewhat, but he still can't sit still for books that are too wordy. So I try to read Winnie the Pooh and Charlotte's Web (both stories that he likes), and he can't sit down and listen to them because of the complexity of the sentences and the paucity of pictures.

Some that he really enjoys: Fox in Socks (Seuss), Where the Wild Things Are (Sendak), The Very Busy Spider, several short books by Boynton, Corduroy, Is Your Mamma a Llama?, Good Night Gorilla. Nothing too sophisticated, but he has gotten to the point where he can fill in most of the words himself and he'll ask for the books by title sometimes.

Monday, December 9th

I don't know if Lisa mentioned this to you, but the Lion King is now Max's favorite movie. He walks around referring to himself as Simba, and me as Mustafa, Lisa as either Zazu or Sarabi, my brother as Uncle Scar, my sister as Nala, Lisa's sister as Rafiki. It pretty funny. He listens to the music from the movie over and over again. I don't know, sometimes I find it ironic given the fact that we saw the movie while he was in the hospital having one of his worst days ever. He's totally oblivious to all the fear and frustration we went through. It's really something.

Wednesday, December 4th

Max had a nice time at my parents' house, but he was pretty happy to go home at the end. He wouldn't eat more than a bite or two per meal while we were there and now that we're back, he's been stuffing his face. Lisa thinks that the craziness of my parents' house (always lots of people talking loud and fast) is very distracting to Max during mealtime. It's very different at Lisa's parents' house, where Max actually eats more than he does at home.

Max has been a lot of fun lately too. My favorite thing is that he has begun to tell me things that I didn't already know. For example, Lisa took him to Little Gym (Gymboree-equivalent) the other day and when he got back I asked him what he did. He said, ``bee beh.'' I repeated ``bee beh?'' He clarified, ``Bean bag.'' ``Did you play with a bean bag?'' ``Uh huh.'' ``What did you do with the bean bag?'' ``Throw Mommy.'' I had been to Little Gym twice and never saw any bean bags there, but when I asked Lisa what they did that day, she told me that they had indeed had a catch with some bean bags. Yay language!

Monday, November 25th

Max is a little mimic, so it's hard for me to accurately measure his vocabulary any more. He can usually use a word correctly for about 5 minutes after the first time he's heard it, so it's tough for me to tell if he really knows the word or is just echoing it back (on a delay). The things I find really impressive lately is that he's starting to pick up some ``closed category'' words---unlike nouns and verbs where you can continue to learn new words for your whole life, closed category words are more central to the grammar and there is a fixed set of them. He's using words like ``too'' (``Max, do you want Elmo?'' ``Mickey Mouse too!'') and ``both'' (``Max, pick up your shoes.'' ``Both!'') and ``did'' (``Max, what says `baa'?'' ``Mommy did.''). As far as favorite words are concerned, Max's has got to be ``belf'' (which means ``self''). He wants to do almost everything himself and gets annoyed if a parent offers a helping hand. He's really something!

Monday, November 18th

Max is doing well---we spent the last few days at Disneyworld with Lisa's folks and Max had a blast! He's speaking in 3-5 word sentences now, and even trid a 6-word one this morning (``big kangaroo play little blue pens'' describing a picture of Kanga holding a handful of pickup sticks).

What's new with me?! (11/10/96)

Friday, November 1st

Max is good. He totally opted out of Halloween, unfortunately. Lisa made him an adorable tiger outfit, and he was very excited about the whole thing. But when it came time to actually put it on, he balked, and decided that he wanted the candy without having to get dressed up. Welcome to the terrible twos!

Wednesday, October 30th

Max, meanwhile, is being pretty incredible. He's using four-word sentences now pretty easily, and (much to his mom's consternation) enjoys jumping off of high places like the couch. He's really a joy.

Thursday, October 24th

Max is doing well. This week will be the 2nd anniversary of his due date, so he's 2 1/4 years old. He's quite a cutey and his language skills are getting pretty rich. Four-word sentences are becoming the norm, and he feels the need to comment on just about every aspect of his surroundings. I miss not being home with him all the time, but we still have a very close bond.

Friday, October 18th

We took Max to the North Carolina State Fair today. Pretty neat. He loved all the barnyard animals (except when the goats started to jump on him to get food). He got to pet cows and goats and sheep, a llama, a little chick and a little duck. He saw rabbits and roosters and chickens and pigs. He went on two kiddie rides and was very cute about it (he'd smile at us each time he went around). He wasn't too interested in the fairgrounds food, although he probably wouldn't have minded cotton candy, if we had given him the option.

One weird thing is that the first thing we showed Max was a woman standing on the fairway with a marionette. We went over to her and said hi and she introduced the puppet and gave Max a little brochure. She said, ``This is Matilda. She's a puppet. She's just pretend. She loves Jesus...'' Uh oh, gotta go. We gave her back the brochure and I took Max away as Lisa politely explained that we already had a religion. Max was sad to leave the puppet, but I explained that the puppet had an agenda. At the end of the day, we passed by the same spot, and Max started asking for the puppet again. Good memory, I think.

Thursday, October 17th

Life with Max is pretty wonderful, actually. Max is becoming a sophisticated little person and he's a sweet one at that. ... Lisa finished residency and has been home with Max since September 27th.

Sunday, October 6th

Thanks. I, personally, think he's pretty funny, but I'm not sure he's ready for his own HBO special yet. There aren't many occasions when he tries purposefully to be funny. He does understand when other people are trying to be funny and enjoys it (for example, if I pretend to his clothes on myself, he'll laugh). There's a bunch of things that he does that make everyone laugh. For example, he loves to wear other people's shoes. He'll say, ``Mommy slippers.'' Yes, Max, those are Mommy's slippers. Then, ``Max Mommy slippers,'' and he walks over and puts on a pair of huge pussycat slippers and begins clomping around the living room. A funny verbal thing is that he understands that a common way to shorten someone's name is to drop everything except the first syllable. This works fine for ``Mommy'' and ``Daddy.'' Unfortunately, he pronounces ``Grandma'' as ``Mooma'' and ``Grandpa'' and ``Poopa'' and the shortened forms he creates (``Hello, Moo'' and ``Hi, Poop'') sound pretty funny.

One last Max story. I'm constantly amazed at how many words he knows and the fact that he seems to use them appropriately on the very first try (pointing and answering ``there'' in response to ``Where do you see an ice cream cone?,'' and sticking ``too'' at the end of requests to imitate someone as in ``Max hug too''). Even so, he makes visible progress on almost a daily basis. Right now, he's with Lisa in NJ having some familytime with Mooma and Poopa, but just before he left, he was starting to get a handle on 4-words sentences (he's most comfortable with 3-words sentences at the moment). The two he used were ``Thankyou Daddy Kittycat Kiss,'' in response to my making one of his stuffed animals kiss him, and ``More pink little man,'' in response to a graphic that he saw appear and disappear from the computer screen while I was playing with him.

What's new with me?! (10/2/96)

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Wednesday, October 2nd

So today was Lisa's first full day as a stay-at-home mom. I think it went very well. She took Max to the local Barnes and Noble for a book-reading session and went to the mall and they played outside and Lisa made dinner and we even had some time this evening to sit down together after Max went to sleep. I'm feeling optimistic about this.

Tuesday, October 1st

Max just got weighed yesterday and the doctor said he's 23 pounds. He was also 23 pounds when he got weighted in June in Rhode Island. He's grown a lot since then, so I have to assume that ``pound'' means something different here in NC. I guess that means I lost weight, too!

Monday, September 16th

Max is doing well and seems to like his new home. He is making three-word sentences without too much trouble now (``More matzah ball!'', ``Please, please, please, please, please matzah ball.''). He has been enjoying jumping around and even some simple prat falls. His favorite game seems to be play acting: He climbs into his little riding toy with a set of plastic keys and announces that he's off to work. When we ask him where he works, he says the hospital. What does he do at the hospital? ``Babies!'' Like his mom, I guess. What does he do with the babies? ``Hug!'' he says. Nice work, if you can get it. He seems to be coping beautifully with the fact that I'm no longer primary care giver. The only result I can see is that he is a bit more clingy to me when I'm around.

(I was asked about ritual circumcisions for preemies). In general, I'm not sure how it gets handled. In Max's case, he had some problems with his penis that required the use of his foreskin for the repair. So the actual circumcision took place in the operating room with no family around. We did have a small religious ceremony on his 8th day of life (he was still in the hospital) where Lisa and I, my parents and Lisa's parents had a baby naming for Max in one of the temples in Providence. At that point, we weren't even sure if Max was going to live, so we didn't have a big party.

Wednesday, September 4th

We're adjusting well overall to the move. We're pretty sure that Max thinks we've been visiting my sister's house because she has been here since he arrived. He keeps saying ``Ah goo house'' (Aunt Jill's house). I think he might be surprised today when Jill flies back to Philly and Max continues to live in her house.

In terms of daycare, for the next 2 weeks, my mom is here. Then Lisa's mom for 2 weeks. Then Lisa for 2 months. Then a nanny, if we can find one.

We had dinner last week with a few of the families that were in the hospital with Max two years ago. All four of the babies are in beds now (Max is still cribbing it). It seems that Max just isn't that good of a climber. It is hard to imagine putting him to bed in a real bed, though. He'll seem so heartbreakingly grown up.

Thursday, August 22nd

A few days ago, Max learned to jump! He can get both feet (slightly) off the ground at the same time. It's pretty cute and he seems to enjoy it. Jumping was my all-time favorite activity as a kid, so I'm glad Max is finally getting with the program. Yesterday, at our last playgroup, he was using his new jumping skills to leap down steps that led to the backyard. He thought that was pretty cool so he did it about 50 times.

Friday, August 9th

I don't think he can recognize letters yet. For awhile, I thought he could, but then I noticed I was only asking him to identify ``M'' and ``O'' and that he would say ``M'' and then ``O'' regardless of which letter I showed him. I think he understands sign-language ``O'', though.

Tuesday, July 30th

Max turned 2 yesterday. When people ask him what he got for his birthday, he says ``cake,'' which gives you some idea where his priorities are.

What's new with me?! (7/26/96)

Friday, July 26th

Max, my son, is learning to speak very well. He speaks hundreds of individual words and has just started (this week) to put pairs of words together. This morning, I gave him a bowl full of blueberries, and he said, ``Thank you...Daddy.'' I thought that was neat because he said ``thank you'' without any prompting, and because it's the first time I've heard him put those words together. It's getting pretty fun. The word pair for today was ``Mickey...hat'' because he wanted me to buy him a baseball hat with a picture of Mickey Mouse on it.

Tuesday, July 23rd

Max just started putting pairs of words together (``Bumble...bee'', ``Elmo...hat'') and has either started to learn his colors or has begun to memorize which color names go with which objects.

Sunday, July 21st

Max is having fun and, just this weekend, has begun to put pairs of words together.

Sunday, June 23rd

Yesterday Max did something I had never seen him do before. He was standing on a short step stool and he jumped off of both legs and landed with both feet on the floor. Previously (and since, actually) he only ``jumps'' with one leg at a time so he never really leaves the ground. I attribute this developmental ``leap'' to a visit to the Discovery Zone the other day where he saw older kids doing all sorts of amazing jumps. Anyhow, you may remember that jumping was one of my favorite things as a kid (well, jumping and falling I guess), so I couldn't be prouder even if he had written his first computer program!

Max's first little pal, Molly, is moving away in a few days. I don't know whether Max will be sad about it, but I know I am. Molly's mom got me involved in playgroup and Gymboree and introduced me to a lot of other nice people. It's going to be much emptier without her around.

Friday, June 14th

I was asked whether Max is basically over the hurdle of being a preemie... More or less (mostly more). I brought him for a followup evaluation on Wednesday. He seemed to do remarkably well on his vocabulary (he was able to name a few pictures for the experimenter that I had never heard him say!). He did less well on dexterity stuff in that he wouldn't make a tower out of blocks and insisted on trying to put a square puzzle piece in a round hole. On average, he scored about average, which is a pretty great outcome for such a rocky start.

Physically, he seems ok also. For his adjusted age (counting from when he should have been born), he measures 75th percentile in height, 25th percentile in weight, and 5th percentile in head circumference. So, at the moment, he's a tall, skinny, pinhead (just kidding!). The researcher who evaluated him seemed quite impressed with his progress and was optimistic that he would continue to develop quite nicely. And, of course, he's astonishingly cute.

What's new with me?! (6/10/96)

Monday, June 10th

Max is doing wonderfully. He's speaking about 200 words and understands more and more complex commands (well, suggestions, given that he sometimes chooses to ignore them). The other day, I taught him the word ``wipe'' by saying ``wipe your hands'' and demonstrating. Later I asked him to ``wipe Daddy's leg'' to see if he would generalize the idea to other body parts and other people. He did it with no trouble at all.

We have a developmental followup scheduled for Wednesday and I'm optimistic that he'll be scoring high in language and gross motor. I'm a bit nervous about fine motor, because he doesn't really like block stacking (which seems to be one of the big evaluation tools). From what I can tell, though, he seems to be developing within normal ranges and that's all that really matters.

I can't say much about how I feel about fatherhood in the abstract. I know that I'm having a fantastic time with Max and that I love him to pieces. He's in a sponge phase now, meaning that he's learning new things almost constantly. That makes it pretty exciting to hang out with him, because we can have ``conversations'' one day about things he didn't even know existed two days before. He's a very good-natured little boy and he seems to be quite bright, so I can enjoy sharing with him the excitement of experiencing the world fresh.

His favorite things at the moment seem to be sweeping, using the dust buster, and pretending to mow the lawn. So we're off to a good start.

I have gone into swimming pools while holding Max, if that's what you mean. As long as the water's not too cold, he seems to really enjoy it. Actually, I went to the YMCA today and signed us up for lessons for this summer. One of the moms I know from playgroup is going to be there too so we'll be able to socialize.

I'm a little nervous because Max has a post-preemie developmental followup exam on Wednesday morning. I think he'll score well in language, social, and gross motor, but I think he might be a little behind in fine motor---I just can't get him to sit and play with blocks! I'm sure it will be fine.

Otherwise, Max is doing very well. He's been learning several new words a day now. Sometimes he learns a word when I drill him on it (``Max, her name is Dina, can you say Dina?''), sometimes I just take a chance and ask him and he already knows (``Max, what's that?'' ``Pocket.''), and sometimes he shows me he knows without even being asked (this morning he was pounding on the bathroom mat saying ``Rug!''). A week ago he could use about 200 words but the list is growing too fast for me to keep track now.

Monday, May 13th

Anyhow, Lisa and Max are doing well. Max has been getting passed around a lot while I travel, but hopefully that'll be done soon. He's been a good sport about it.

Max's vocabulary has increases substantially since he saw you and my mom says he's starting to make some simple 2-word utterances.

Tuesday, April 9th

Our Passover seders were fun. For the first night, we had a (downward) nuclear family seder consisting of the three of us. Lisa was post-call and we didn't feel like doing anything too big. It was nice. Second night we went to the house of one of the residents. She did a good job of having all the crucial seder elements there and it was fun and haymishe.

Much of my child-related socializing takes place with two women, Lauren and Anne (and their kids, Molly and Jonah, respectively). Last night, all our spouses were on call, so we had a seder-like dinner at Anne's house. That was really fun. At the end of the night, we plopped all 3 kids into the tub, changed them into their PJs, and said goodnight. Lauren will be relocating in Delaware in June (end of her spouse's residency) and we will be relocating later in the summer. Anne will be here for another year or so. It'll be very sad when we stop hanging out 2 or 3 times a week.

Tuesday, April 2nd

Max has been getting very verbal lately. He now babbles to himself while he's playing. He has learned to say ``Daddy'' sometimes in place of ``Dada.'' A downside of this is that, about two nights ago, when I returned home from a long interview trip, he cried when I put him to sleep for the night. He stood screaming in his crib and his wailing was punctuated with the occassional ``Daddy!'' Heartbreaking.

There are about 80 words that he uses (in isolation, no two-word patterns yet), although few to none are recognizable as English. He clearly understands a lot more words than he uses and occassionally surprises me with a correct answer to a hard question. An example occurred this morning when I asked him, ``What do you play with Molly?'' and he moved his hands up and down in alternation the way he does when he and his friend Molly play proto-ring-around-the-rosie. He also correctly beeped in response to ``What sound does the microwave make?''

Another interesting milestone is that, as of two or three nights ago, he finally understands how to use a telephone. He sat and listened to his grandparents talking to him for 2 or 3 minutes, answered their questions and sang for them. When Lisa and I took the receiver away from him, he said ``maw'' (his word for ``more'') to request that we return the receiver to him. He ended up on the phone for at least 10 minutes, much to the delight of Grandma and Grandpa.